News Clip for the Day

CNN discussed how the Saints, an NFL team in St. Louis had a coach that told the players to kill the opponent.  I don't understand why people say or do these things.  What ever happened to the mentality of it is just a game?

after

After I talked to some David and Wayne, I came to the realization that hydroponics would be difficult.  The amount of uv light, the space, the energy, the time, and the amount of vegetables all are key factors I needed to consider.  I felt like I reverted back to my old self...asking for people's experience.
Why do I keep making the same mistakes?

I am having a personal struggle with myself. A part of me wants to die, this morning I felt a spiritual conflict within myself.  I wish I can drown out the negativity. 
Needing spiritual guidance, I referred to the Bible, flipped open the Bible and landed on Ecclesiates 4 and 5 where I started reading about the evils of oppression and my attitude toward God.  I feel like I am the fool who is consuming his own flesh.  My speech and thoughts have been causing me to sin resorting to the emptiness within.

A new hobby.

So far all my hobbies including scuba diving, snowboarding, and shooting, all of which are fun and requires a bit of money, another hobby I am going to include will be hydroponic gardening.  I had this idea in mind a couple years ago but haven't put in much thought until recently I noticed my diet consist of meat, and lots of meat.  The seed in my mind, it will be fertilized as I continue to research about it.  I am hoping sometime around June, I can start with this hobby.

Pros:

• I will have vegetables to eat.
• Since I am growing vegetables myself, I would not have to spend as much on vegetables at the supermarkets. (I have to research the cost of vegetables at the store, the time it takes to for the vegetables to sprout/germinate)
• This hobby will be a lifestyle change: Being more nurturing and hopefully more patient, in addition to something passionate outside of work. (for a time being, once I'm proficient and have the funds for it, I might just set one up in the classroom, after I make a pros and cons for setting a garden in the classroom).
• I have space in my dining area.

Cons:

• The vegetables eaten, not sure if it is enough for me to eat.
• It is costly. So far, the herb garden starter kit found on overstock.com: http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Culinary-Herb-Garden-Starter-Kit-Mini-Garden-Stacker-Planter/4433311/product.html?cid=202290&kid=9553000357392&track=pspla&kw={keyword}&adtype=pla  is about $64.79. I would hate to imagine the cost of hydroponic gardening... the growing bed and nutrient reservoir. 
• Time, it requires a lot of time.
• There might not be enough lighting for the plants.
• A lot of maintenance.
• Not sure if I can set up an indoor garden in the apartment, must refer to leasing agreements (could be a potential fire hazard).

While creating a pros and cons list, found this online: http://www.guide2hydroponics.com/about-hydroponics/pros-and-cons.aspx

My goal for today:
1. read http://www.hydroponicvegetablegardening.com/HVGBasics.htm
2. figure out which plants I can plant.
3. refer to leasing agreements.

My goal for Friday:
1. watch 3 hydroponic videos and write what I learned.
2. Figure out the materials, and costs

Do I really need it.

Terry's talk about thinking things through inspired me when I checked my checking account.  Last month, I spent $500 on things I don't really need. Today is a new day, a new pay period.  After cutting down all the necessities (rent, student loans, overpayment for employment, etc) I have less than a $1,000 this month to spend (not including gas and food, which should also be considered a necessity). Now, is the time to really think whether I really need it or not. As of today, any purchases I have to weigh the pros and cons on to whether or not it is essential for me to get it. On top of that, I need to hold myself accountable and create a list of wants and needs (material objects).  By doing this, it is a step to being a man.

Terry's talk

Had a very insightful talk with Terry.
It all came down to me needing some soul searching.
I need to think things through, find out before committing.
Every action has a consequence.
Mediation, self reflection on things that can be better.
Stick to what I believe in.
No wishy washy
No more mediocrity.

Life's Lessons.

Over the past few weeks, I learned the following:

• Never make assumptions.
• Listen.
• Differentiate wants and needs.
• Measure twice, cut once.

I'm hoping these learning lessons occur once. 

"War is barbarous and inhuman. Nothing is more cruel, nothing more tragic." The war I'm facing, I'm in knee deep and it's always going to be a constant struggle between the "good" and "evil"  If only the path to finding myself would have a clearer picture.