Hearts on Fire

Since the last entry, I had been feeling depressed and unmotivated.  I had a slump, all of which was caused and inflected by myself.  This past weekend was a great learning experience. Friday, I asked out Garnet, a substitute behavior interventionist for one of my students to attend a pot luck dinner.  She attended but I did not pay attention to her. My friends noted she was bored out of her mind. I was too busy cooking to give any attention to her.  Never realized that I inflected pain towards anyone, especially a girl I asked out.

From this moment, I learned that I need to work on myself and that I should not under any circumstance neglect anyone especially since I invited a person to a social event.

The day after, I 

While reading "Awaken the Giant Within," chapter 1 talked about raising my standards
In life, there will be many tests that I will go through, as a man I am, I need to stick to my guns.


Things I longer accept in my life
 -
-Indecisiveness
-Negative behavior that harms/hinders me to become me to the fullest potential
(addiction, slacking off, self doubting, procrastination)

Things I no longer tolerate
-Bullying
-Belittling
-Negativity.
-Injustice

Things I aspire to become...
a positive, social, righteous, loyal, straight-forward individual, a man of my word, detailed oriented, living in the present, goal oriented man.

As Tony Robbins noted, I need to find a role model.  I need to find what they are doing, what their core beliefs are, and how they think.

Knowing is not enough, I must take action.

While at Starbucks... met a 50 year old guy who looks remarkable for his age.  I thought he was in his 40s, he credits his looks with nutrition and fitness.
I noticed he had some satote. The taste of satote has a custard taste that melt in your mouth.

Satote, Santa Monica Farmer's Market. (arizona and second) on Wednesdays 8am-1pm. Farmer Micheal.
Daveed.com
Hatha Yoga., Yoga for beginners.on Youtube.
Shifting what really matters...Prioritizing.

Sibil, Chinese Tutor
The Future Is Now
The joy and misery of this world he declared, is the result of our own karma...reminds me when I enrolled in the Landmark Forum course.  The class provided everything is all on me and that I have a tendency to put meaning to everything.  It is what it is.  Often times, I had a tendency to add emotions and over think scenarios. The what ifs were always in my mind.
I am the catalyst of my life.

Persevering until success.

Currently reading Team Secrets of Navy Seals, I have been setting off this book to a side for the longest time.  I have no one else to blame but myself. As I was reading, I came across how these men who were training to become Navy Seals finally completed the task of carrying a log over their shoulders with 12 attempts. 

Lately, I have been feeling down about myself. Over eating and lack of motivation to work on myself (physically, spiritually, professionally, and financially) consumed me.  At that moment, I felt alone. I can tell you  now that what I experienced was all in my head.  I have to thank my sister for addressing that I haven't been working on myself.

The NAVY SEALS had physical and mental limitations had they not be in sync with each other. At this moment, I am trying to find a way to work together with my mom and perhaps find a solution to help my sister out.

While on the phone with David, David noted that family will always be there especially through the good, bad, and ugly.  It was difficult trying to converse with mom, not just because of language barriers but I always feel judged and criticized.  Again, I have been living in my head.

I am looking forward to the next stage of my life.  Yes, I know there will be some obstacles, I  have to have a game plan and keep trying until I reach the desired goal I want.  Of course, once I reach the goal, then I should set new goals.  

Today

Today is a day of reflection. After hanging out with Sandy and Terry today at the fair, they reminded me that...
I needed to be non reactive, walking at the same pace as the girl, asking open ended questions, try to find the subtleness (what they are into and whether or not they are interested in you.), being vague and mysterious, don't necessary ask for a girl's number unless its subtle. Be aloof. Try to be everybody's friend...don't pressure for anything else.

this weekend was full of trials and tributions. writing and reflecting has long beeen overdue. it happened friday...while i was testing the students, i should have provided more instruction. while teaching about bullying, i should have presented in written form...allowing students to write down their thoughts.  saturday...always assume nothing and  and pretend to know nothing... sunday...research is key ...especially spark plugs.... cut hoses.downward.

Day 4

Day 4: What decision have I made or failed to make in the past that powerfully influence my life today?

My impulsivity has played a role to shaping my life, the past me I was financial irresponsible--spending  frivolously and recklessly. I was not consistent with my word, I was a person who was not honest with myself.  All of my actions led me to where I am today--both the positive and challenging.

From this moment, I strive to be a man of my word.
Goals for me to accomplish for today
Professionally:
Finish Jonathan's IEP
Plan for math
Input test scores on Common Core
Provide empowering words
Find emotions
Email DAZE test to print for tomorrow.

Workout: Jog for a mile. 50 push ups.

Day 2
Our decisions--not the conditions of our lives--determine our destiny.
The past me, I always choose to sit on the sidelines especially when it comes to interacting with people.  The decisions I made shaped the current me. 

Day 3
Realizing the power of a single decision acted upon immediately and with utter conviction.

The secret is to make a public commitment, one so forceful that you can not take back.  On a similar level of passion and conviction to Gandhi, I embody being around a positive guy who transforms others around me to become the best person they can be.

Aspirations

Day 1
My aspirations in life to find my best friend, a person who will love and accept me for me, a person who is physically and internally beautiful.   Starting a family with my best friend in our house.

I want to experience white water rafting and zoos whenever I get a chance to travel, I want to see and experience God's beautiful creations.

I aspire to become a better cook, knowing more about cooking.